[Today we're kinda doing two stories for GinTama. The first story is about defeating the "Orochin" monster.]
[The second story is about Hammy's request. Actually, do you even remember who Hammy is?]
[Odd Jobs Gin]
Let's eat!
[Marinade 500 grams...Sugarville 100cc...water 100cc...oil]
[2 tablespoons...500 year old salt] [3 tablespoons...finely chopped coriander stem and root] [2 tablespoons...finely chopped garlic] [3 tablespoons...finely chopped ginger]
Gin-san... What is this?
What do you mean?
It's lunch, of course.
No...that's not what I meant.
No matter how you look at it, this is just bread and rice, right?
Well, obviously.
Does this look like fish and chips to you?
Yeah, but eating bread with rice is just weird!
Are we like carb fanatics or something?!
You know, carbohydrates make people happy.
That's why we have ramen rice and chikara udon.
[Note: Chikara udon is udon noodles with sticky rice cakes.]
Our ancestors were the ones who recklessly combined carbohydrates into a meal,
and made it our country's tradition.
Yeah, we haven't been getting many jobs lately.
If we don't do something quick, we may have to keep eating like this.
Yeah, I know we gotta do something,
but there aren't that many opportunities to make money, you know.
Money making opportunities and true love are hard to come by.
Next up, a story on getting rich quick.
Huh?
Let's turn it over to Ketsuno-san!
Ketsuno, Ana!
Yes, this is Ketsuno reporting live.
Yamata, a tranquil village rich in nature, has recently been plagued by depopulation.
To make matters worse...
...the village has also come under attack by a mysterious monster.
I beg you, please help our village.
Any brave warriors who can defeat Orochin and the monsters living in that mountain...
[Note: Yamata (the village) + Orochin (the monster) is a wordplay of Yamatano Orochi, an eight-headed snake folklore monster.]
...wilI be rewarded with our village's treasure...this golden radish.
Golden?!
Radish!!
Brave warriors, please help us!
["You Don't Stand in Line for the Ramen, You Stand in Line for the Self Satisfaction"]
Go home!!
I will not allow you to step foot into this village!
If outsiders like you came into our village,
you'd eat all the food from our fields, destroy our land and litter all over.
You'd destroy our village's happiness!
That's why as long as I live, I will never let you in!
Now hurry up and go home!
We traveled all the way out here, you think we're gonna go home empty handed?
Shut up!
Stop whining and get outta here!
Go away!
Go home!
Jeez, I'm outta here.
What am I supposed to tell my wife?
Gin-san, what are we gonna do?
Well, we have no choice but to go home.
Chief!
We did it again!
Take a look!
You've got plenty.
Who knew these monsters would turn into gold once they were defeated?
Why should we give our good fortune to outsiders?
Oh yeah, now I see why you wanted to drive away the brave warriors.
Wh-What?
Y-Y-You were listening to what I just said?
Yes, we were!
Forget everything!
Forget it right now!
Erase every single thing from your memory!
Impossible.
You think anyone can really do that?
But more importantly, why suddenly...
What's with this thing?
Move.
Out of our way.
Th-This is...
Kintama!
[Note: "Kintama" literally means "golden ball," but is also a slang for testicles.]
Kagura-chan, girls shouldn't say that word.
Okay then, how about golden ball?
That's right, girls shouldn't talk like that.
That's not good either.
But in any case, with this gold we no longer have to eat rice with bread.
Geez, dream a little bigger, will'ya?
Ouch!
If we have all of this then...
I'll take all the strawberry milk you've got!
Oh, come on. Think bigger than that!
If it were me...
I'll take all the pickled seaweed and plum-flavored pickled seaweed.
All you did was add another item! That's all!
Y-You guys, hurry up and save me.
If it's that big...
...then the "kintama" will be even bigger!
I said...
...girls should not say that word, okay?
Amazing!
They took down a monster that big in an instant.
Many thanks for your trouble.
Come closer so I can praise you.
Gin-san, looks like we can say farewell to our days of eating rice and bread.
Hey, you guys.
What are you talking about?
I am trying to give you some words of gratitude.
If we have this much money, we can splurge on a lot more.
Come closer.
Hey, shut up, Prince Hata...I mean Prince Baka.
You talking about bread and rice?
You got my name right and then you corrected yourself?
Stop thinking so small, you commoner!
Not only that, you paused for effect?
Shut up, you idiot!
Bread with rice?
Jeez, calling me an idiot every single time.
That's why I don't like commoners.
Everyone knows real luxury is when you can eat two bottles
Is it really that much fun getting my name wrong?
Is it?
of sweetened seaweed preserves with rice and one bottle with bread!
You low class monkeys!
Die, you idiot!
That's luxury?
I'm not going to take this from you.
Having sweetened seaweed preserves isn't much of a difference.
I won't!
All right, let's hunt, hunt, hunt like crazy so we can indulge in every possible luxury!!
Yeah!
Hunt, hunt, hunt like crazy!!
Oh excuse me, you people over there, I have a question.
Is there something called an Orochin around here?
Dammit!!
If they're going to hunt with such vigor they'll end up taking everything we own!
Hey, secretary!
By the authority vested in me as the village chief, I declare a level one emergency.
Yes, sir.
I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated?
I might as well transfer over to D. Gray-man.
[Note: D.Gray-man is another Shonen Jump manga.]
What the heck is this?
Yeah, these buildings look out of place.
It doesn't look that different from Kabukicho.
[The house of happiness]
[The plaza of happiness]
[The mansion of happiness]
[Note: Sign in background says: "The civic hall of happiness."]
What's with this forced feeling of happiness?
Yeah, it's so happy that it's actually spooky.
This is what you call the product of public enterprise.
Do you think happiness can be achieved from this, Gin-chan?
Happiness depends on each person.
If you think you're happy, then you must be happy.
But in any case, with all these buildings, it'll be hard to find monsters.
So...there!
Ouch!
Aw...ouch.
Hey, Stalker!
You're gonna be my hunting dog from now on.
A dog?!
Oh yes, Master, here is my chain.
Listen up.
Find a monster and tell us where it is, you got that?
Come on, she looks so pitiful. Let's give her a break, Gin-san.
Shut up! Butt out, four-eyes.
Go!
Bow wow.
Listen up, you all!
The whole village will now go on a monster hunt.
Do your best for the happiness of this village!
You're mine!
Why just me?!
Attack!
Keep it up so we can collect as many golden balls as we can!
Pick'em up, pick'em up.
They're all ours!
It's gold.
Golden balls, golden balls!
One golden ball, two golden balls, three golden balls...
One of Gin-san's golden balls, two of Gin-san's golden balls, three of Gin-san's-
Stop saying stuff that'll give people the wrong idea and just go find monsters!
Bow wow...
Gin-san, this way, bow wow.
Where's Orochin?
Now, this way, bow wow.
Orochin... Orochin.
Gin-san!
That's the last monster, bow wow.
All right!! Here we go.
Shinpachi, Kagura, don't lose focus now.
All right!
Villagers!
Don't lose to them!
Attack!
Make sure you get all the golden balls.
Don't let them grab a single one!
These are my golden balls.
No one's gonna take'em away from me!
Hey, that's ours.
Don't touch them!
Try and get'em if you can.
Keep your hands off Gin-san, bow wow.
It stinks! What's is this? Natto?
Ch-Chief, it's useless.
They're too strong.
We're no match for them.
Orochin!
Hunt down Orochin!
Then we will still get more golden balls!
Everyone, hunt down Orochin!
Orochin!
He's right.
If we kill Orochin, we'll get even more golden balls.
He's right, let's hunt down Orochin!
Let's go hunt down Orochin!
Shinpachi, Kagura.
Let's go hunt down Orochin, too!
All right!
Wow! Amazing!
Wow, this feels good...
[Mountain summit]
Like I'm gonna fall for that!
Oro oro oro oro orochin.
Orochin!
Give yourself up!
What's going on?
Secretary... What just happened?
That was a fake Orochin.
The real Orochin is me.
In order for me to take on my true form as Orochin,
I needed the power of people's endless greed.
To get that, I let loose monsters in your village
and I planned it so you can get gold when you kill them.
If that was the case, why even have monsters in the first place?
It wouldn't have been as fun now, would it?
It's like even if a noodle shop sells the best tasting noodles,
who would want to go there if there wasn't a line to get in?
I guess...that's true.
Now that you understand, I'd like to thank you by showing you my true form.
There is one thing I must apologize for.
[Note: This is a parody of a scene from Osamu Tezuka's Phoenix manga. She looks like the Phoenix character.]
When I turn into my true form, the golden balls,
which were the objects of your desires, turn into dirt.
Y-You're kidding...
Well, farewell everyone!!
Orochin.
Ah, it's flying away.
Come back!
Come on, old man. Do something.
Are you an idiot or what?
What did you say?
Is that any way to talk to a prince?
Looks like my plan to build a happy village is over.
Hey come on, in life, there are happy times and unhappy times.
George once told me, sometimes it's the simple things in life that can give you happiness.
[Note: Lyrics from the "Road" song sung by George Takahashi.]
Ah!
I found 100 yen!
I saw it first.
It's mine!
I saw it when I first came out of the cave.
That's not fair.
You know I saw it when we were climbing the mountain!
You idiots!
I'm the first one to touch it!
["You Say Kawaii So Often, You Must Really Think You're Cute Stuff"]
My dad said something about how you guys saved me once.
So I came to ask you a favor.
I don't remember at all.
Oh, wait, is it something like...
[Note: Shabu Shabu is a hot pot dish.]
I saved your fat ass from almost being turned into "Shabu Shabu"?
You're, like, really getting on my nerves.
That's like, impossible.
You're right.
Shabu Shabu is made with beef.
So what?
Was it Pork Bits?
[Note: Pork Bits is a brand of sausage in Japan.]
You okay with that one, Miss Piggy?
Do you even know what you're talking about?
She's from back then...You know, when we fought the Harusame gang.
Oh right, Ham girl!
You just went from calling me a pig to ham!!
Seriously, that would never happen, okay?
I was told you guys were reliable,
so I came here to hire you, but you're all like, pissing me off!
Yeah, and so are you.
What?!
I...I'm sorry.
So how have things been after that, Hammy-san?
I can see you're trying to salvage the situation, but my name's Kimiko not Hamiko.
I stopped doing "Paradise" a long time ago.
[Note: Paradise is a drug mentioned waaaay back in episode 13.]
It's been really hard to get over it and I'm still getting treated at the hospital.
It just wears me down.
Wears what down?
Your heart?
I already paid for what I did and I learned my lesson.
But this time it's my boyfriend who's in trouble.
Hamko-san, you must still be hallucinating.
Do you guys really get that much enjoyment out of teasing me?
This is the text message I got from my boyfriend.
[From: Tasuke]
I'm in deep poop!
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy]
Deep, deep poopy!
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!]
How deep?
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!]
Real deep.
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!] [How deep?]
[Real deep.]
[I'm talking deep.]
I'm talking deep.
Yup, this is bad.
Better call a mental hospital instead of us.
He's not crazy in the head!
To tell you the truth, my boyfriend was a "Paradise" drug dealer.
When I quit, we decided to go straight together and live decent lives.
But...apparently he was in too deep and not only would they not let him quit,
but the organization is now after him too.
In any case, he's in totally deep poop.
That's why I'm here to ask for your help.
Hurry up and find him! Come on!
Where the hell is he?!
Crap! I'm in deep poop!
What the heck is Kimiko doing?
Hmm... So you're planning on leaving the organization
to go live happily ever after with this Kimiko-chan?
Who the hell is Kimiko?
Is she your woman?
Well, isn't that nice, Tasuke.
W-Wait.
Let me go!
I don't wanna do this kind of risky stuff anymore.
I want to live a decent life.
Decent?
That's funny coming from a thief like you!
We don't give a damn about you!
We just want the stuff!
We're not gonna let you just taste the good stuff and then run away.
Where did you hide it?
You'd better tell us quick or else...
W-Wait.
I really don't...
This is what's gonna happen!
You can still talk, right?
Okay, next I'll cut here. Right here!
Wait!
I really don't know anything.
Seriously, I don't have it.
Then, die!
Who the hell are you?
Who the hell am I?
[Note: Spoof of Strange Old Man character by Ken Shimura.]
Yeah, you got it.
I'm-
Tasuke!
Kimiko!
Everything's okay now.
I brought the Odd Jobs guy with me.
These guys will do anything as long as you pay them.
Do anything?
Looks like he can't even stand up.
You sure about this?
Ow... She ruined it.
Hey, change of plans.
We're gonna leave these guys and retreat.
Aye aye, sir.
Hey!
What the hell are you doing escaping alone?!
Sorry but I never had plans to escape with two pigs on my back.
What the hell?!
Do you know how many parfaits I treated you to?
You'd better work for them!
My-My stomach's getting squished...
Oh crap, this is bad.
It's gonna come out! I'm telling you my internal organs are gonna burst out.
Your internal organs?
No, Gin-chan!!
If something like that comes out, I'll never be able to get the image out of my head!
It'll ruin our friendship!
Like that would really happen!
Shinpachi, take the rope.
Hey, hang on.
Hamko!
Let go of Gin-chan or else his internal organs will pop out!
Hey...what are you doing? You're seriously pissing me off!
Speaking of which, you get off me too...
Ah!!
It came out!!
Something came out of my ass!!
Shinpachi!
Take a look for me.
Did something come out? Did it?
How would I know?
I can't hold it anymore!
Gin-san!
Oh no, get outta there quick!
When you get down to it, this suits us the best.
Follow me, guys.
We're gonna bulldoze our way through!!
Outta my way!
You can totally kick ass!
Oh, I think I'm falling for you.
No, seriously, that's bad. Don't do that.
Besides, what's all this?
What's going on?
Pretty big going away party for one little punk, eh?!
Something fishy is going on with pube head over there!
What?
Are you saying Tasuke might have done something bad?
No way!
I decided to live a decent life with Kimiko!
And I ain't no pube head.
This is a fashionable wig.
Don't dis my wig!
Hey...
You really should remember where you hide your stuff.
It's the "Paradise!"
So that's where the bastard was hiding it.
Grab it!
...Tasuke...
You...stole "Paradise" from the gang, didn't you?
Why?
You said you were gonna quit!
You said we'd live a decent life together!
Tasuke... How about we make a deal?
You can have her back in exchange for the drugs you stole.
Hand it over now and I'll let you go too.
Don't listen to him.
He's going to kill you!
Forget about me. Hurry and run-
That didn't take you long to decide!
And you run so fast?!
Do whatever you want to her!
Later, Kimiko! Nice knowing you!
I only went out with you 'cause I thought you were rich.
Otherwise who would wanna go out with a pig like you?
In the end, this world is all about...
...money.
You Amanto who prey on humans.
And you pathetic humans who wag your tails and lap up the crumbs.
You're the pigs.
No way am I going to protect a miserable pig like him.
Whose side are you on, you bastard?!
Neither.
But never mind that. Here.
I'll trade you this for the ugly chick.
You hand it over first.
What are you afraid of?
He threw it!
Hey, somebody catch it!
Oh no, our precious "Paradise."
Scoop it up! Pick it up!
What the hell has he done?
Hey, that girl's gone too.
This is unbelievable.
I asked you to help Tasuke and look what happened.
You're the one who's unbelievable.
What are you gonna do with that mess?
Just to let you know, you can't eat that even if you grill it.
Are we going there again?
Is it because if you let him go you may never get a boyfriend again?
There are such things as miracles in this world, you know.
I don't need a pathetic miracle like that.
I'm probably the only one...
...who would go out with a loser like him.
What was that all about?
They look more like mother and son...
...than a couple.
If I had a mother like that, I'd turn to crime, too.
[Next: "Rank Has Nothing to Do With Luck"]
[A cold has been going around Gostess Club Smile. And of all times, an important guest decides to stop by.]
[The usual characters are asked to help. And who shows up but the Shogun himself!!]